i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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