Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
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She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery