You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you