she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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