Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
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I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live