how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
