i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
should my penis look like a turkey
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How does it feel to date your dad?