This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
