Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
