I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
