before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
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My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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