Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
