i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
