the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
