you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
