Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize