shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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