I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I was not drunk enough for that final.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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