Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
