I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
