Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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