Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
