You made me cry and you don't even care
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize