8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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