no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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