My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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