Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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