therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think im going to throw up on grandma
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
