...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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