you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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