This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
