we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I want her autograph on my taint
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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