Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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