I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
