People with herpes should wear stickers.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Vodka?
Forever.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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