I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize