Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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