just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
