one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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