sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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