i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
