Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
