i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
