beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
