I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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