I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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