one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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