I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
