Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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