They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
