whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize