I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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