after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
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there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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