I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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