Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
