i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
All I want is dick and wine.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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