You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
