I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I could fuck to npr.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
