Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
