States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i came on her dog
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
